Whilst queuing at the check out in M&S I spotted the front cover of a magazine displaying a photo of Denise Welch with the headline: ‘The Truth About My Divorce’.

I know Denise and Tim (I was introduced by their dog) and knew nothing of a split so I bought the magazine and flipped to the appropriate page.

It was an entire story made up by the magazine asking Denise if she and Tim were getting divorced then printing her response, which was a complete denial.

It was a brilliant con to get people to buy the magazine and it gave me an idea. Instead of scratching around every week for stories, what I should do is print a photo of George Osborne with the headline: ‘The Truth About My Sex Change Operation’. He’ll deny it and I’ll fill my column with his response. It’ll put thousands on the circulation figures and the possibilities are endless.

How about a picture of Alex Ferguson and: ‘The Truth About My Move to Macclesfield Town,’ or a big blow up of Madonna in concert and: ‘The Truth About Me and Sir Nick,’ It’s a sure-fire winner and we can’t be sued for printing the truth.

My editor will love it and think it’s all my idea.

Just as long as Denise’s dog doesn’t kiss and tell he’ll be none the wiser.

The views expressed on this page are Vic Barlow’s and not those of the Express