Isn’t it great to see Simon Cowell knocked off the front pages by a royal wedding?
There’s only so much I need to know about his spat with Louis, Danni’s baby or Cheryl’s leprosy or whatever it was she had.
When I pick up my morning paper I’d rather know what’s happening in the White House than the X Factor House.
I prefer photos of great white sharks to great white teeth.
Of course I watch the show, I have to, Mrs B insists but I like a break.
I don’t need to know what Wagner’s doing with his bongos or why Mary’s pining for her cash till.
I can wait until Saturday.
If boy band One Direction can’t hold the high notes I don’t care and once they reach puberty neither will they.
Believe it or not there are more important things happening in the world like the disaster in Pakistan.
Thousands of people’s lives devastated by bent cricket matches and all the papers talk about is X Factor.
I believe Prince William and Katie have announced their wedding now to crank up interest
so they can sell their wedding photos to Hello magazine.
The Royal Family have learned to be media savvy.
I bet William and Katie have secretly planned the grandest of all spring weddings to clash with the final of Britain’s Got Talent and will blow the TV ratings into the stratosphere.
Simon and Piers will be sat in an empty studio like gargoyles while billions of people around the world watch the royal couple plight their troth before announcing their own reality TV show: What Katie Did Next?
The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express
