OF ALL the ideas bandied around in our attempt to rejuvenate Macclesfield town centre, speed dating has to be the best.

It arrives at 7.30pm on Monday, June 8, courtesy of Ronnie’s Bar in Dukes Court.

I’d love to be there (no he damn well wouldn’t – Mrs B). Couples have five minutes to chat before moving on to a new partner. Can you imagine the craic?

"You are a beautiful woman, I could live in your eyes."

"You’d be at home, there’s a sty in one of them."

This is going to be a culture shock for those Macclesfield men who don’t know the difference between a Euro and a giro.

God knows how they plan to introduce themselves.

They’d be better off writing it down on paper.

"Do you like my CV?"

"I can’t put it down."

"Really?"

"It won’t flush."

It’s sure to be one of the best nights of the year and more entertaining than a visit to the MEN Arena.

A bit more creative thinking wouldn’t do Macclesfield any harm.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express