LIE back and DON'T think of England.

That's the message from a local posh hotel which has totally banned the F-word from the inner sanctum of their relaxation centre.

Football fan "widows" are invited to literally put their feet up for a bit of "metatarsal manipulation" at De Vere Mottram Hall where the World Cup is NEVER discussed.

Bosses are offering what they call a "Top to Toe" package so that women who are normally neglected at the expense of the footie-fest can luxuriate in peace.

Ironically the deal comes at a hotel frequented by the stars of Manchester United who favour its lush golf course.

But currently they have been given the red card when it comes to the health and beauty centre where life is strictly for the birds.

Just a ball's throw from Wayne Rooney's own palatial pad, Mottram Hall has decided to do its bit for the girls and the idea is already taking off.

The 'Top to Toe' package, priced just £72 per person, includes an express pedicure or express manicure, express facial and back massage.

Guests can also enjoy full use of the leisure facilities and a two-course lunch and glass of champagne.

A spokesman said: "The wives and girlfriends are shoppin' til they are droppin' out in Germany, so we thought we could do the same for the women here. We reckon Colleen would definitely approve!"

  • To book call 01625 828135.