I was wandering around Boots looking for sunscreen. All I wanted was a simple cream to slap on my face while out with the dogs.
I don’t know anything about cleansing, hydrating or moisturising, I’m very wary of that stuff since Mrs B bought me a facewash with grit in it. Can you believe that? I felt like I’d been doused with a sand blaster.
So, here I am drifting down the aisle in Boots when I spot a tube of SP15, which sounds good to me (whatever it is?). I take it to the till to pay.
"We have a three for two offer at the moment," said the assistant breezily.
I wandered back to the display and selected another two alternatives then returned to the till.
"You do know these two are dearer then your initial choice?"
I shrug. "As the three for two relates to the most expensive item you may want to reconsider your initial selection as that is significantly cheaper."
"So, what should I swap it for then?" I asked, totally confused.
"You may as well have another tube of the expensive one."
I meander back wearily to make the exchange. I now have three (expensive) skin protectors.
‘That will be £94," said the assistant.
"NINETY FOUR POUNDS!"
"Sorry, not you. That bill is for these ladies," she said smiling at the two women at the counter.
I somehow managed to recover without a defibrillator.
"Do you have a Boots card?" she asked.
I shook my head, anxious to grab my purchase and leave.
"You can use my card," said the £94 lady.
"No thanks, I’ll just pay and go," I said desperate to make my getaway.
" Did you buy any skin serum?" asked Mrs B when I eventually made it home.
"I’m protecting myself from sunburn not snake bites," I rapped, annoyed that one simple tube of sunscreen had dominated my entire morning.
"It would do wonders for those lines on your face."
" I didn’t have any lines before I went for sunscreen."
Mrs B stared at me as if I was a Shar Pei.
"That’s not what I’m seeing."
I didn’t know whether to argue or bite her leg.
