Don't you just hate elections? Why don't Blair, Howard and Kennedy save us their juvenile bickering and sort it out with a game of cards?

It's all so pathetic. Why do we need to hear from them at all, what do we need to know?

We've witnessed the Labour Government in action for eight years; the Tories have already demonstrated their ability (sic) in opposition and no one knows what the Lib Dems do anyway.

Michael Howard is racing around the country dislocating pensioners' shoulders while Tony Blair is bragging up his achievements conveniently forgetting the pack of lies he told us to drag us into an illegal war.

No one actually knows what Charles Kennedy is doing but whatever it is will undoubtedly involve a lot of trumpet blowing.

If they must make speeches a little honesty wouldn't go amiss.

"Since we've been in office we may have decimated pensions, created chaos on road and rail, watched public trust in the judicial system collapse and spent Billions on flawed IT projects but George Bush loves us. Vote for us again and together we can do for Iran what we've done for Iraq."

It may not be a vote grabber but it would, at least, be credible.

Why wait until election time to embrace all the issues that plague us?

Having sensible immigration controls when we are supposed to be 'waging a war on terror' is common sense so why wait until now to do it?

Putting matrons back on hospital wards where infections are rampant is an obvious move so why wait?

Why is abolishing the Human Rights Act suddenly so high on the agenda?

There have been more than enough cases to indicate the flaws in this piece of EU legislation.

Do the parties honestly think we are all so stupid not to realise they are trying to 'buy' our votes and will happily ditch any commitments made once elected.

The really awful thing is that local politicians feel the need to join in the mud slinging and the public have no escape. It's all so undignified.

Here are my election predictions:

  • The first act of the new Parliament will be to give themselves a huge increase in salary and benefits.
  • Pensionable age will increase by five years but NOT for Members of Parliament.
  • This election will have one of the lowest turnouts on record.
  • The views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.