SOCCER: Jonathan Ross watch out - Matt Tipton is gunning for you...

THE lads came away with a sound point from a tough trip to Scunthorpe. This against a side that will almost certainly finish in a play-off position at the end of the season.

However, on reflection, for all the hard work and effort that was put in, we probably deserved all three points.

With two home games this week, we will be striving to get some positive results and pick up vital points in order to improve on our position in the league.

Over the past couple of seasons the profile of Macc Town has risen 100-fold due to events such as the club achieving back-to-back promotions, the building of the new stand and the fabulous cup exploits against the big guns West Ham, Coventry, Middlesbrough, Bolton, and last but not least Forest Green! This exciting exposure has caused a few of our Silkmen stars to be thrust into the limelight with our fiery fame-seeking front-man Mattie 'pyramid head' Tipton even managing to get his ugly mug on prime-time TV!

As all of you are probably already aware, during our FA Cup win at Hull, after Whitty had scored, the lads decided to perform a quite ridiculous 'caterpillar' celebration dedicated to Chris Byrne, who was recovering in hospital. Our clown-like capers caught the eye of the producers of the comedy quiz show 'They Think It's All Over' and they came down to film us. The cameramen required someone to explain the reason behind our mystifying manoeuvres and before you could say Inverness Caledonian Thistle, Tippy the TV talent of the future was already discussing his lines with the director!

He had previously told me that it was his lifelong ambition to be in front of the camera, and although I didn't doubt his amazing acting ability, I had always felt in my heart of hearts that he had a fantastic face for radio. However, Mattie took to his task like a sumo wrestler to ballet and he only needed 387 takes to say his two short, but incredibly difficult, lines in the right order.

On the day that the show was to be aired, Mattie confided in me, saying he was more nervous than the time he fought Lennox Lewis and beat him on points at his local boxing club. He felt that if all went well he could be following Vinny Jones' footsteps and buying a condo in the Hollywood hills.

But when Jonathan Ross witnessed Tippy's ten-second tit-bit he labelled him a complete idiot with a pointy-head! The lads have discussed 'Wossy's widiculous wemarks' and all came to the conclusion that although he was absolutely spot-on with the idiot comment, as far as our goal-getter having a cone-shaped cranium goes it is just an unfounded rumour.

Other equally unproven rumours are that the Pope lives in the Vatican, Richard Hillman is a crazed murderer and polar bears like cold weather.

Our strong-minded Mattie has vowed to prove the presenter of 'Film 2003' and one of Britain's finest and well-respected cinematic critics wrong. Watch this space.

A number of our other Hollywood hopefuls in the squad have also managed to land several smaller roles. For example both Hitch and Whitty are on standby for 'ET' and 'The Crystal Maze' respectively, and Tinno is down to the last five for the remake of Tarzan and Jane. My thoughts go out to Darren Dunning who had his heart set on playing R2D2 in the new 'Star Wars' movie, but his dream was crushed when he was told by the director he wasn't tall enough!

Paul