Do you know what? If I hear another adult say: ‘Do you know what?’ before proclaiming their next earth-shattering revelation I’m going to vomit.

When it comes to getting down with the kidz I’m like well good, innit?

But when my own friends emulate third-rate American soap stars I’m like, Houston, we have a problem.

The thing is, right, they believe that prefacing any sentence with: ‘Do you know what?’ makes them appear shrewd and perceptive when in fact it kinda, er..., you know, makes them sound like a prat.

I mean, rappin’ with the brothers is okay when you’re a dude but get real, if your hair is greyer than a Lib Dem manifesto slipping the odd transatlantic phrase into a sentence beginning with ‘allotment’ and ending with ‘bowel-movement’ is not cool.

English is a wonderful language – why not use it?

Adults who adopt American affectations should get a life and, do you know what?, if anyone asks me that again...I’m gonna kick ass.