AS IF November isn’t depressing enough some masochists have declared it Vegan Month. Why is it that every veggie I meet looks like they have about 48 hours to live?
No one spends more time with animals than I do but if we all forgo meat what’s to become of all those beasts? Unless, of course, every Vegan plans to adopt a cow, sheep and a couple of pigs. Soon as they’ve settled in they can move onto geese, turkeys, ducks hens, etc.
I have noticed in restaurants that whenever a steak is served in error to a vegetarian they never send it back…they don’t have the strength.
Almost every veggie I know is either a student or unemployed. They used to taunt me with that much loved question, ‘Would you eat meat if you had to kill it yourself?’
Until I asked, ‘Would you eat vegetables if you had to get a full time job to pay for them?’ I have a pal that grows his own potatoes, cabbage, carrots, lettuce and owes his entire existence to…benefits.
I’m joking, right. If you want to be a vegan go right ahead, it’s your life. Just be sure you have room for all those pigs and sheep you’ll need to adopt when farmers switch to soya beans and organic mustard cress.
The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express
