TOP of this week's Idiots Gallery is Alderley Edge barrister Marc Asquith who got himself locked up for cursing a police officer supervising a road survey on the A34.
"I helped get this bypass accepted when I was a county councillor," opined Mr Asquith. "Frankly, I don’t think the officer liked being questioned and scrutinised by a member of the public."
Wrong Mr Asquith, what the officer didn’t like was your foul-mouthed rant. He didn’t know you were an ex county councillor, a current Cheshire East councillor, a personal injury lawyer and a governor of Alderley Edge Primary and Wilmslow High School. He thought you were just an arrogant so-and-so.
Second place in the Idiots Gallery goes to 27-year-old David McKenna of Poynton who admitted being part of a gang who attacked TV journalist Paresh Patel in Manchester as he prepared a piece for BBC North West Tonight.
As the yobs chased their intended victim through the city centre Mr Patel suddenly turned and punched McKenna in the face before kneeing him in the groin, a move undoubtedly honed by his years as an international martial arts champion...oops!
As a rule of thumb violent louts should avoid attacking anyone being filmed by a camera crew, especially one with a black belt in karate.
McKenna and five other men are due to appear in crown court later this month.
I PROMISE TO DO MY BEST
As a dad I’ve made excuses for all sorts of things. I've written sick notes to school I really shouldn’t have and offered explanations for unworthy homework but Disley dad Michael Ware took indulgent parenting to an entirely new level by allowing his 19-year-old son Samuel to grow dope in the house .
Appearing at Macclesfield Magistrates Court he admitted turning a blind eye to cannabis growing in his kitchen, loft and back bedroom from hemp seeds bought at a fishing shop as it was the only thing Samuel was ‘showing an interest in.’
For that priceless explanation Mr Ware rockets up to Number Three in this week's Idiots Gallery.
I HATE MYSELF
Holding up every other contender in the Idiots Gallery is 22-year-old trainee fitness instructor Sam Scott Barret sentenced to 18 weeks jail after punching a man in the head outside Ronnie’s Bar in Macclesfield.
Addressing the court Barret said, "I hate myself. It is like Jekyll and Hyde and a side of me I really don’t like and if you take drink away from me there will be no problem."
Think about it, Mr Barret, it’s probably a side of you that no one likes but there is no need to hate yourself. Realistically, it’s a bit much expecting anyone to take booze away from someone prone to violent assault so here's what I suggest you do: STOP DRINKING.
The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express