I’VE READ some weird stories in my time, but none more bizarre than the theft of a moose’s head, complete with huge antlers, snatched from an Alderley house.

Precisely how you ‘snatch’ the head of a damn great moose is beyond me. It’s not something you could easily slip in your pocket, and just what sort of burglar takes a stuffed head?

"Forget the jewellery, boys, take the moose," are not words you’re likely to hear on a Crimewatch reconstruction, and how you get rid of one is another conundrum.

You can hardly flog it down the pub. Given this particular moose has an eye missing, it’s not going to feature at the top of any antique dealer’s wish list. I can’t see David Dickinson urging viewers to buy a one-eyed elk as an investment, can you?

Regular Express readers will, no doubt, expect the perpetrators of this heinous crime to reside in Macclesfield, where jumping into the canal with pockets full of stolen lead or stealing two years’ supply of steak pies is commonplace.

I do believe, however, that this particular stroke of criminal ingenuity is beyond the mental capacity of your average Macclesfield felon, some of whom have been known to sign their names at the scene of the crime.

You’d need to think outside the box to steal the head of a one-eyed dead moose, and most Macc delinquents don’t think at all.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express