GUESS what I found in the back of an old cupboard? An ancient bottle of camomile lotion.
I spent most of my childhood days smothered in it. I suffered from heat lumps and, according to my Aunty Alice, camomile lotion was the only answer.
All families had favourite remedies. My pal’s mum swore by iodine and slapped it on his every cut and graze.
You could hear him screaming from the playing field as she dabbed it on his open wounds.
Whoever invented liquid paraffin should have been boiled alive. I had gallons of that stuff poured down my gullet when I was a kid.
It was vile and was always followed by prunes for tea. Can you imagine a better way to torture a small schoolboy?
Do you remember poultices? I never actually had to endure one but my grandparents loved them covered in duck fat or goose grease.
How they acquired these noxious ointments was never disclosed.
No wonder I don’t like taking medication. Had I swallowed all the stuff my mother dished out, I’d have been radioactive.
Isn’t it amazing we actually made it through our childhood years?
The views expressed on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express
