So now we know the reasons anarchy spread through our streets during the recent riots were: Bad parenting; Poor teaching; Failure of the Justice System; Materialism.

Where we’ve been going wrong is in believing setting fire to buildings, looting and destroying local businesses is the fault of those involved.

They have no choice. They are but robots programmed to plunder and pillage by irresponsible parents, wicked teachers, bent police officers, inept magistrates and Apple Corporation. If you’d been brought up with no i Pad, Nike trainers or a flat-screen TV you’d be rebelling.

If you’d been let down by schools you didn’t attend, parents you ignored, police you spat on and magistrates that failed to stem your criminal activity you’d feel compelled to riot too. It’s only natural.

I’m feeling a bit repressed myself. So, diss my column and I’ll nick a plasma, innit?