JET LAG’S a weird thing don’t you think? At lunchtime I couldn't keep my eyes open, now I’m writing this week’s column wide awake at 2am. You find out all kinds of things you never knew when you could sleep.
Did you know they have bingo on TV in the middle of the night? It’s one of the most popular programmes on night-time television. How weird is that? Another star of vampire TV is Ray Mears and his bush craft and survival programme.
Ray spends weeks living off grubs and insects.
There must be a hell of a lot of calories in them judging by the size of his girth. I know blokes who eat burgers every day that don’t weigh as much as Ray Mears.
Not a great advert for going native is it?
It’s really awful when your body clock refuses to fall into sync and you’re hungry when you should be tired, and sleepy when you need to be wide-awake.
I’ve left Mrs B watching a Carpenters concert from about 1976, talented as they were in their prime you really have to be jet lagged to watch a 30-year-old recording, and whatever time we eventually fall asleep, we’ll still have animals to feed by 8am. Chickens, pigs and ducks don't comprehend jet lag (or the Carpenters).
I’ll go and make my 12th cup of tea and toast a crumpet. Maybe that’ll jump start me back into UK time?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
The views expressed on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express
