And a great deluge came to Mesopotamia and swept asunder all those who were unworthy and those who remained were the people chosen of God cast in his image and it was good.

Then a pestilence fell upon them and its name was Babylon East led by Ezra who begat Ishtar who went off sick and was replaced by Jacob (a temporary stand-in from a far-off land rewarded with many shekels.)

"Let us refurbish our Temple," said Ezra, for we are the absolute rulers of Babylon East and we shall sit in ergonomic chairs and wallow in our glory."

Despite a budget of many camels there occurred a massive overspend which was hushed-up lest the people grew restless, for they were under severe financial restraint.

Then God did speak with Ezra saying: " I command thee to send three wise men to follow my star from the East."

"How many?" asked Ezra.

"Three," said God.

"Mmm…could be a problem there, Lord. Not exactly over endowed in the wise men department are we, Jacob?"

Then God did spake again asking: "Why has my star grown dim?"

"It’s a safety measure," replied Jacob.

" Safety measure!" said God.

"Our statistics prove there are fewer accidents if travellers are unable to see where they’re going so we switched it off."

"You switched off my star?"

"To save lives."

"Are you sure it’s not to make up for the gold you squandered refurbishing your Temple?" God boomed (sounding increasingly like Brian Blessed).

"The safety of the people is our only concern," said Jacob, urging God to stride over the potholes lest he trip and sue for compo.

Following the usual monkey-see-monkey-do elections, Ezra and his council did rule the land for many years and the people were rewarded with higher taxes and persecution.

The erecting of family tents was tightly restricted where even the addition of poles was controlled by the planning department of Babylon East who were unto themselves a law charging many shekels for each rejected application.

For each tent had to be ‘in keeping’ lest it infringe some planning regulation.

And council inspectors did smite and ridicule applicants except for Tesco of whom they had much fear and did build whatever they chose.

Then a people’s delegation arrived at the Temple demanding to see Ezra.

"Why do you wish an audience?" demanded the Leader.

"Sire, it is rumoured a Lime Green pyramid is being built without planning permission within our village."

And Ezra did blow his top saying: "What lies! Dust thou not trust thy council, even with a cabinet member living in thy midst."

And the people were cowed and did return to their village reporting Ezra’s words to their parish elders.

"What a load of goat droppings," said one who called himself Peter, for he had supped at the table of Babylon East and had seen the light. "We must be vigilant for they speak with the tongues of serpents."

When parishioners demanded to know the nature of the work being carried out in their name Babylon East did describe it as a ‘clean-up operation,’ a lie laid bare when a wandering scribe enquired what sort of clean-up required a JCB?

Then the dung did hit the fan for answers had they none and the council elders did hum and haw like Yuletide donkeys.

"It is a flattening operation," they cried even as a five-sided pointed structure rose from the ground.

Then and only then did Ezra admit that a Lime Green pyramid WAS under construction for he was banged to rights and the cost of this folly was equalled only by the gold squandered on the Temple.

"We shall find whoever is responsible for this wanton waste of taxes," yelled Ezra.

"That will be you," said Jacob. "I think you mean us," barked Ezra.

"Not I, Sire, for I was in a distant land filling my pockets with shekels."

With no excuses and nowhere to turn Babylon East did what they always did in a crisis and hired an expensive consultant to obscure the facts.

Then thunder and fire did strike for God was displeased with Ezra and Babylon East for they had indulged themselves at the expense of His people.

"This council hear but do not listen," sayeth the Lord.

"They see but do not perceive for their hearts are waxed gross and their ears dull of hearing lest they be judged incompetent."

Then followed much wailing and the gnashing of teeth as the people vented their wrath asking of God what they must do to rid themselves of this tyranny.

"Do unto thy council what thy council hath done even unto you," sayeth the Lord. "For they iz gettin’ in my face, innit?"

And the people did expel the council banishing them to the distant land of Egypt, which was something of a disappointment as God fancied a stoning.

Then a peace fell upon the Babylon and it came to pass that markets of old did flourish and beautiful buildings designed by the people adorned the towns of Babylon East while the Egyptians got… .pyramids (whether they wanted them or not).