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A good zapping with 50,000 volts is the answer

I am NOT going to join the hysterical criticism of Lancashire Police for shooting a blind man in the back with a 50,000-vault Taser gun.

I am NOT going to join the hysterical criticism of Lancashire Police for shooting a blind man in the back with a 50,000-vault Taser gun.

Yes, all right, the officer mistook Colin Farmer’s white stick for a Samurai sword but it’s an easy mistake to make.

He could have been a blind terrorist and then that officer would have been a hero. Suppose his stick had really been a light sabre, what then? You couldn’t count on Luke Skywalker coming to your aid.

I think that police officer did the right thing. You can’t beat a good Tasering in times of uncertainty. I’m convinced tasers should be used during party political broadcasts.

"We are all in this together."

Zap! (50,000 vaults)

"We are now out of recession."

Zap! (another 50,000 vaults).

I suspect we’d hear a lot less meaningless waffle.

The Taser gun is a great tool. Had we used it earlier there would have been no recession. Imagine the effect of 50,000 vaults on City traders every time they squandered our money.

Suppose we’d Tasered all those bank executives who took huge bonuses for creating losses. The National Grid wouldn’t have coped with the demand for electricity.

Obviously we couldn’t just have anyone Tasering politicians and bankers. It would have to be done by a Taser Panel made up of people with a proven grievance.

Demand for places would be huge so we could charge for the privilege, thus reducing that public debt they keep banging on about.

Believe me, use of the taser could turn politics and banking around in this country.

Do you think we’d have gone marching into Iraq had Tony Blair been tasered every time he warned about weapons of mass destruction that didn’t exist?

I rest my case.

 
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