SO dear old Dee Catton has left Wilmslow and set up home in my neck of the woods, well she's very welcome. Folks in Sutton and Langley are a friendly lot but know little of breast implants and plastic surgery.
I would urge Dee not to stand too near the fire in the Church House pub, if her bra size was to suddenly melt down from a fulsome 36D to a diddy 32A regulars would ask questions. In fact I'd recommend Dee say nothing of her £40,000 implants, facelifts and tummy tucks, there are farmers in this village who have sold a herd of cows for less than that.
I don't think having a sports car with S111EXY as the registration is going to help either. She might want to trade it in for an old Landrover with S1URY?
Dee says she's 'skint and really needs work' and that's where I can help. She should go and see Mike Brisley at Sutton Stores he always needs staff. Start at 4am, fight off a couple of robbers, open the shop, deliver newspapers, nip to the cash and carry; get back in time for the evening news and finish at 8pm…it's a doddle.
I'm sorry to hear Dee has hit on hard times but she's made a good move, people in these parts are extremely supportive. We have our own scout hut, four reservoirs and a vicar who rides around on a 1950s grocer's bike.
There is no better place on God's earth.
