One of the scariest things I’ve heard recently is Sir Nick Winterton saying he intends to be more careful with his money now that he’s retired.
This is the man who dropped a pound coin and bent down so fast to pick it up it hit him on the back of the head.
How can he be ‘more careful’? He’s an international role model… for squirrels.
He did buy me a drink once…no sorry, correction. He gave me a drink once, who actually paid for it has never been verified.
Sir Nick’s spending habits make hill farmers look like lottery winners.
Lady Ann bought him a wallet last Christmas and his jacket rejected it.
He says he won’t be travelling first class now that he’s retired, unless he can get a ‘good deal’.
I’m not sure what Sir Nick regards as a ‘good deal’, but I doubt Richard Branson will be dining out on the proceeds.
Mr Winterton is well known in Westminster for his financial acumen.
They say if he steps on a coin he not only knows its value; he can tell you whether it’s heads or tails.
Sir Nick promising to be more frugal is like Mike Tyson threatening to be more violent. It’s a fearsome prospect, but I have a cunning plan.
Why not put Sir Nicholas in charge of bankers’ remuneration and reward him on prudence.
He’ll have hedge fund managers selling the Big Issue before you can say Champagne Charlie.
I can just see Sir Nick storming through City boardrooms yelling: "You’ll work Christmas Day, Bob Cratchit."
Isn’t that a great image?
The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express
