My bank manager must be an idiot. He actually thinks I’ll save money by not spending any. He doesn’t realise you have to speculate to accumulate.
When I suggested ‘speculating’ on a new truck so I could ‘accumulate’ more dogs he told me to use my old Toyota.
My proposal to extend my office didn’t fare any better.
He didn’t even approve my plan for an Apple Mac. In fact he referred to all my claims as ‘spurious.’
"This is the time for working with what you have," he told me, which shows just how out of touch he is.
Cheshire East plans to save £13m in their budget by closing a children’s respite centre, getting rid of care workers for the elderly while (and this is where their financial genius kicks in) ‘speculating’ £1.5m on a town hall refurbishment to ‘accumulate’ staff from Cheshire West.
Ah, I hear you say; don’t we have a place where Cheshire East and Cheshire West already have ample accommodation? We did, but that was Cheshire County Council as opposed to Cheshire East and Cheshire West.
Spot the subtle difference?
Denise Griffiths, corporate accommodation manager, who is co-ordinating the work at Macclesfield town hall, says:
"East is east and west is west
And the wrong one I have chose
Let’s go where they keep on wearin’
Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows
Rings and things and buttons and bows."
No, she didn’t say that at all. What am I talking about? She said: "It was not the best use of space. Now the (town hall) offices are light, airy and open plan."
So, CEC blew, no make that ‘invested’, 1.5 million smackers to make their offices ‘comfortable’ for all. Well, at least more comfortable than elderly residents without care or disabled children denied respite are likely to be.
Just goes to show how little my bank manager knows.
And I’m all yours in buttons and bows.
The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express
