They are coming and coming in force. You need to be prepared and alert.

It’s not clear where they are coming from or why but they are on the way. They’re heading towards us in their thousands fully-funded and ready for action.

How do I know this? Because no lesser organisation than your own council is racing to sell off their land bank to prepare for the invasion. Yes, all right, Cheshire East is in financial meltdown and stand to make £220m on the sale but hey, you have to speculate to accumulate.

Handforth is due to be turned on its head by an additional development of 2,500 houses (that’s going to shelter a lot of aliens). If it’s not done, council leader Michael Jones says developers will build 4,000 homes A YEAR. 

Given an average of three to a house that’s 12,000 invaders each and every year. That is some serious threat and Coun Jones wants to cash-in.

There must be hordes heading for Gawsworth, which will double in size with an extra 750 to 1,500 homes while Fence Avenue in Macclesfield, already bursting at the seams in rush hour, is due to accommodate an additional 1,000 aliens on the site of King’s School.

Macclesfield’s population grew from 50,688 in 2001 to 51,739 in 2011 –  that’s an increase of just 1,051 in a decade so I’m trying hard to find out about these invaders whose massive presence will totally transform our communities, but either it’s a secret or a piece of science fiction.

Now, I’ve called a number of estate agents and they have a  glut of houses they can’t sell. CEC are even offering cash incentives for developers stubbornly refusing to build houses already approved because demand for residential properties is at an all-time low.

So who is going to buy all these new homes? Where are the 2,500 families desperate to live in Handforth? I know a lot of landowners desperate to cash in   (CEC being the largest) but no one can tell me anything about the gathering multitude waiting to move in.

Spain is awash with abandoned housing projects as is Portugal and property prices have fallen by up to 50 per cent in Ireland following the crash created by over-supply in their housing market so the influx is hardly coming from there.

If these homes are going to sell for £50k a piece creating a totally new market for first-time buyers, I salute the idea but I doubt that’s the case.

Everyone involved is looking to make a big profit from this, which I understand. What I don’t understand is where all the buyers are coming from. When the council leader says Handforth residents should welcome his plans for 2,500 extra homes some enormous invasion must be on the horizon.

I’m off to Jodrell Bank to look into space. Maybe they’re coming from another galaxy?