THERE'S another brilliant idea Cheshire East might want to adopt. Norfolk police are offering free taxi rides home for drunks after 11:30pm on Friday and Saturday nights. Isn’t that kind?

According to Sergeant Lance Ogbourne from the Safe Neighbourhood Team, "These drinkers would not normally take a taxi."

There’s a reason for that, Mr Ogbourne: taxi drivers avoid them like the plague.

Sorry to be picky, Sarge, but another small flaw in this otherwise excellent scheme is how to determine if someone is actually drunk. What level of inebriation must they achieve in order to qualify?

Is a mild sway sufficient to justify a free ride home or do revellers have to be totally legless? There seems to be an inherent incentive for drinkers to get completely bladdered.

Still, I suppose if you combine this initiative with the outstanding proposal made by our Prime Minister of phoning for a police officer to walk you home it could work.

Sober individuals can saunter home arm in arm with their local bobby while taxis whiz by loaded to the gunnels with vomiting drunks.

Yet another brilliant idea funded by the taxpayer.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express