OUR tumble dryer devours socks; rarely do you get the same number out that went in.

It has a sick sense of humour and enjoys sending me off to work wearing odd colours.

Standing in a queue at my very busy bank I had a fit of sneezing and grabbed my clean hanky to stem the spread of germs.

Imagine the humiliation as I wiped my face with a pair of white frilly knickers attached firmly to my handkerchief.

Everyone had a good laugh at my expense.

The tumble dryer is currently up for adoption.

The views expressed on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express